It’s Not Your Job

It’s not your job to “awaken” your family members, your partner, or your friends. You don’t need to make them see what they aren’t ready or able to see for themselves.  The inner-work is about personal responsibility and connection to your highest self. It is the pathway for you to trust your body, set boundaries from love, and honor your truth.  And, believe that everyone has their timing and bring the focus back to your growth. You can’t save anyone but yourself.

When we want to “awaken” or “navigate others,” we are being invited to look closely at what needs in the relationship are not functioning. We are generally hoping to change them in some way, and want to change someone when there’s something in it for us.

More acknowledgment. More love, approval, recognition, connection, intimacy. All needs we are worthy of having met. But we do not need anyone to change to love ourselves, and we don’t need to make anyone else do the work to begin doing our own.  It makes sense that when a relationship isn’t working, we wish to help the other person see how they could be different. It seems evident to us that if only they would XYZ, we could be happy.

But that isn’t how it works. We are all walking our paths, living on our timeline. And you don’t get to choose the timing for another person’s healing. You do get to choose what you will allow and what you will not. You do get to choose your boundaries and stand for what you deserve.  You are worthy of having your needs to connect, to be intimate, and love met.

Sometimes, we have to engage with people from a distance because they aren’t ready to show up in the relationship in a way that would work for us at this point in our healing. Sometimes, we have to let people go. Occasionally, we are invited to release judgment peacefully and accept people for who they are, love them where they’re at, and embody love, compassion, and kindness.

But that never means being a doormat. It never means putting ourselves in harm’s way. Only you know whether the relationship is one where you can grow within or not. Trust your body’s wisdom and seek out supportive guides who can help you connect to the teacher within.

~Diadel Kimberlee

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