My WHOLE life revolves around liberating myself and my pleasure and creating a healthy relationship with Eros. I know, in the current paradigm that we live in, that can seem quite outrageous. There is also the fact that pleasure is not equally available to everyone based on their life circumstances, race, financial stability, trauma, and the body they are in, to name a few.
It is a courageous choice, but a necessary one if we wish to feel more connected to our body, more at home in our skin, more turned in to the exquisite sensations of our body, and more in love with being human; it is also a necessary choice if we wish to create a world that honors Life, Joy, Pleasure, and Sacredness; and looks at the way privilege plays into access to joy and pleasure and other opportunities.
The TRUTH is that we are by nature sensual beings ( (hence our five senses that we EXPERIENCE life through ). It is much more unnatural and quite frankly unhealthy to deny and suppress the awesome good feelings and hormones and energy and connection from embracing our erotic natures.
Eros doesn’t exist just in between the sheets for 20 min while you are “sexual” in some predetermined way. Eros is the nature of the Universe, and it infuses everything in our Life. There are LITERALLY limitless ways to feel pleasure, from the caress of a summer breeze to smelling a lover’s skin to giving yourself a mind-blowing orgasm, to breathing in your yoni and getting to know her from the inside out.
However, it isn’t easy to experience Eros if we don’t feel sovereign over our being and body. Cultivating an intimate relationship with your own body and what makes it feel safe, good, held, aroused, is the first step in knowing yourself and nurturing an authentic relationship with your Erotic Energy.
Why is sovereignty such a big deal? Because it helps us realize we are a unique being with personal boundaries, desires, and needs that deserve to be seen and met. It helps us view ourselves from an internal perspective as inherently valuable rather than a commercialized byproduct of consumerism. It helps us claim our power and what feels good and nourishing and right for our moment to moment. It is STEPPING into the HOME OF OUR BEING.
I want to end by sharing a simple exercise with you that can help you start fostering a sense of sovereignty over your body and experience the powerful practice of self-touch.
This is an embodiment practice that can take 5-20 min.
Ideally, this practice can be done in the morning when you get up or before going to bed, but anytime is better than no time.
Start by bringing some gentle attention to your breath without changing it.
Take a few moments to notice the breath going in and out, massaging the inside of your body. Feel your breath in your heart, your belly, your pelvis, and your genitals. Imagine your cells coming alive with this breath and loving awareness. Next, bring your awareness to the parts of your body that are usually tight, such as shoulders and neck.
Take some time here to roll, stretch, and shake these parts, inviting the muscles to relax as much as they can. Notice the pleasant sensations from relaxing your muscles. Now place your hands on the part of the body that you feel wants attention. From there, follow what feels good, giving yourself a loving touch in ways that feel good to you all over your body. Experiment with different kinds of pressure…follow the pleasure.
Please pay close attention to your breath ( we can sometimes freeze when we engage intimately with ourselves or others ). Stay present with yourself and what comes up. How does it feel to take this time for yourself? End by placing your hands on your heart/womb space or face. Feel the difference in your body. How does it feel to start or end your day this way?
If you feel so inclined, I would love to hear how this landed for you.
To your infinite pleasure
~River~