As years passed me, I now value solitude more than social interaction. I now understand why the old people seemed to carry the universe on their back when I was young.
To be honest, it is heavier than I expected. I never crave big birthday parties anymore, no more festival gatherings.
I just want a New Year alone, with pizza and beer.
I just want a coffee date with myself, only thinking of what to read later.
I just want to sleep all day.
I just want someone to tell about my side on a political drama.
I just want to plant cacti on Sundays.
I just want to… be me again.
I know now what the value of friendship and companionship are; I should have given them to deserving people, not just random strangers. I should have given them to myself. I should have said “no” when I felt I should or said “yes” when I thought I must.
Those mistakes did lose me a lot of people, but I know it is for the better. I know that people are just phases of the moon, they appear full then one night they fade away.
For a few friends I have, I am grateful. And, no, you are not one of them.~
~Sant Bibliophile دوار الشمس
art: Vincent Giarrano
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